I wrote the ‘creature of habit’ post as an experiment. Could I do it? Could I really start to blog about how I am, where I am, what I am.
Seems like I can – a little bit.
Yesterday I was feeling deflated by external pressures and expectations (some real and some imagined). In the past if I have felt like this I have tended to lean in to it and embrace it.
Which is an unfortunate flaw to embody. I wear expectations heavily, like a winter coat in the middle of summer, uncomfortably and unnecessarily. I am learning to not put that coat on. I am learning that ‘writing it out’ helps alleviate that tendency towards embracing the unnecessary.
Lately I have been reading lots about writing. About doing it every day, no matter what, just get it down on paper. Write it out. Feel it out.
Sentence after sentence, unravelling your truth and your shadowed life.
So that’s what my ‘creature of habit’ experiment was about. Doing it anyway. Doing it despite of. It felt uncomfortable and I have a nagging need to edit it, but that’s not what this is about.
It’s about writing every day. No matter what. And learning that in doing so, I become more of who I am meant to be and live the life I am meant to live.